It wasn’t until I lost my phone that I realized I was hooked!
Without it, i felt adrift, lifeless, lost. I was floundering, grasping at fixtures and people. I combed through everything… Where was Ii exactly when I set it down, let it go, forgot it existed for one second. HOW LONG COULD i GO ON WITHOUT IT?
I could not continue to work or talk to other people (not that I did anyway). I HAD TO FIND IT.
Life changed instantly…. Sounds blurred together, people became one big meaningless blob… They were all on their phones anyway. I thought they said something to me but they never did. They were just on the phone.
If you love something let it go. The dumbest thing ever. Hang on to it!
It’s just a phone someone said. JUST A PHONE! I don’t think so. And I don’t have ro think. It thinks for me… Or it did…
It meant everything, contained everything meaningful like all my passwords, ads, meaningless posts. All the photos of food, political commentary, facial fillers, playlists, games, shopping tips, mail and spam, heirloom tomatoes and green beans, thousands of photos, millions of likes and emojis, bejeweled pixels like stars dancing in a majestic symphony on the phone that was now lost to me.
I am not addicted I thought as I ran to the store to find a replacement if my phone did not return.
All those other people are always pressing buttons like monkeys, talking loudly about deep subjects like this I heard yesterday:
“So I said to him, why do you eat like a pig? Do you really need that sparerib Fred?. Oh and the shoes I ordered cut my toes ..”
I needed it back. Now.
I climbed over counters, crawled through sewage, scaled storage bins, parted racks of clothes and people, looked under bathroom stalls and found huge dust bunnies dancing in the air but no phone.
“You’re not crying over it are you?”
“No,” I sobbed.
“You know you can just find your phone on Google.. No big deal…”
That’s right!!! The obvious that always escapes. The find my phone feature! Elated I went home to find my phone.
But it was not to be.
Once again, I can’t remember my password. I tried every password I never had. and I cannot text a new password to my phone if I DON’T HAVE IT STUPID GOOGLE …Ugh. And I am not calling a fake number in China.
I can get by for a night without it! I can! I can!
I’ll just eat those pints of Haagan Daz Irish Creme containing real whiskey!
.I never thought I felt this way. I never realized… I didn’t know how connected we were. If I find you again, I promise I will do things differently! I will change!
I prayed to God. i said God, if you get my phone to me I promise you I will be a better person. I will remember it wasn’t the chicken or the egg that came first. It was you. i promise God, I will give up candy, never swear and never be annoyed.
(Even with the woman that orders an eyelash curler for curbside delivery.)
I fell into a listless slumber and when I beamed myself to work a miracle happened! As I crawled all over the floor like a child I saw a flash of turquoise under a counter. Could it be?
My phone! I thought I was hallucinating! It came back! I had it back. I could live again.. I would be better this time. More considerate. I will never ever let you go.
In fact I hope you give me a ring.